Friday, 15 April 2011

... ellipse ...

Alright. First off I have to say I'm in kind of a bad mood. It's not yet time to entirely explain the entire situation online, it is a public forum, but it began on Wednesday. I have been trying to be proactive lately, working on stepping forward and getting out of this sad funk I've been in for the last little while, only to be made entirely angry by the fact that the job I was just layed off from less than 3 weeks ago due to "lack of work" has a posting online for my position exactly, offering 35 hours a week at my wage too. This is very, very frustrating. They didn't call me, so it really feels now like they were trying to force me out, not just relieve the budget temporarily. I chose to take the lay off because financially it made more sense, they told me they were cutting back my hours to 2-4 hours a day for maybe 5 days a week, and I couldn't see that being financially wise or even possible as there's no public transporatation to that part of town and I don't have my drivers liscence. Especially since they were talking as though it was an indeffinate thing, and I was only given the two choices. So I took the lay off. That being said, I honestly expected them to at least call me back when things started to pick up again, even though due to other stressful health concerns and harrassment issues I wasn't honestly sure if I'd want to go back, and now I feel even worse about that place. On one hand I thought they had made a mistake in laying me off when they did, but on the other I didn't expect it to pick up again so soon, otherwise I may not have taken the lay off at all. But not being gauranteed full time and the possibility of having to get a second job was a major stress I wasn't really ready to face and wound up throwing myself into a different kind of stressful situation as a result. I feel like I'm in a bit of a bind, and I don't know what I can do other than rage about this. I tried making some phone calls I was told to make if this happened, but no one is being helpful on the other end and it's making me even more angry. I thought the system was designed to help in these exact situations, and I'm not pleased with the bitch on the phone I spoke to to first, she's quite negatively coloured this situation from how I apathetic I was feeling about it all yesterday.

*pause ranting to answer phone call*

Well, that was a lot better. He listened entirely, didn't act like a bitch and say things like "well how does that matter to us?" like the last lady did. Now I just have to wait around for more phone calls to figure out where I stand and what to do on this.

At least it's something...

... siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...

Now that I've gotten that out there, let's talk about something else!

Mr. C's cat Lenore snuck into the spare room last night like the ninja she is, and got herself locked inside all night. When Mr. C realised she wasn't curling around his ankles like she normally does in the mornings he looked for her. When he found her she lectured him about having been cooped up in that room all night, I heard her meows from my half asleep state. I had decided being awake was for chumps, so I stayed in bed and wound up with her tipping my cup of water onto my head as a wake up call shortly before 10. Probably a good thing that I woke up, but not a pleasant way to wake. I hope it made her feel better, at least.

I have this feeling that there was something important I was supposed to do today, but I honestly can't figure out what that is. I'm stressed and worried and waiting for phone calls now, so perhaps thats all there is to this feeling. But it's bothering me still. I think I'll take this opportunity to start my yards spring treatment, that might be a good way to take my mind off of things while I wait for phone calls to come in. At least I can take some rage out pruning my roses and maybe I'll dig a hole. Don't know what to dig a hole for, but playing in the dirt seems like it will be nice and cathartic.

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